UNDER THE INFLUENCE

Poetry

By Richard E. Noble

“This dog-gone country is goin’ to the dogs!
All they can ever think of is makin’ a whole bunch a more laws!”

Then old Russell took a swig on his beer, for a pause.

“Yup, it’s just goin’ down hill ... goin’ to the dogs!
Take this drunkin’ drivin’ and all these darn new laws,
why a fella can’t even have a drink
before some cop is on top a him with one of them claws.
I mean, there I am ... they took away my license last year …”

Then old Russell took another slug of beer.

“I’m tryin’ to get home goin’ down one of them dark back roads
when all of a sudden one of them unmarked cars with the sirens unloads.
Jerked my heart ... nearly sent me into a ditch;
that gosh darn foolhardy son of a switch!
I’ll tell ya, I think a man drives better when he’s drunk.
He drives more careful, I mean, gosh-darn,
a man knows he’s drunk when he’s drunk!
He don’t race around slippin’ and slidin’.
Heck, he’s got all he can do to keep from collidin’.
I mean drivin’ drunk makes a man nervous enough,
tryin’ to keep a straight line and all that stuff.
Why, when I’m drivin’ drunk, so’s I can barely see
the last thing that I need is some darn cop hidin’ behind some tree!
Why, I’ll tell you the truth;
it’s them sneekin’ Po-leece that’s the problem for us all.
Get rid of them sons-a-guns,
and we’ll get this country’s horse out of this stall!"

So I Told Her

Poetry

By Richard E. Noble

So I told her once again
for the millionth time
how beautiful she was.

She smiled benignly
with that sad but bemused look in her eye
and said; Thank you, I know you do.

Which translates to; You’re so sweet
and I love you too
but please let’s not start lying to one another.

So I told her once again
what talents she possessed.
“You’re a true artist,” I told her.

And once again she smiled
a simple but bemused denial
… and I sighed.

I told her that she had a lovely voice
and danced like an angel.
She had such natural grace and poise.

It seems that pointing out her grace and poise
made her self-conscious and
she lost interest in these indulgences.

So I told her that I loved her truly
and that she meant more to me
than she could ever imagine.

She stared at me rather blankly.
She looked away and then nervously
looked back towards me once again.

A tear came to her eye.
I’m not entirely sure
But I think she may have believed me.